Cambria was wonderful! No, I couldn’t do many things I would have liked to - like walk on the beach - but it was a different place, I saw my ocean, my family laughed and had fun so it was priceless.  I did realize just how long it will take for my body to be “normal”.  We would play for an hour - sleep 2 - play - sleep etc.  Again, not complaining, just a reality check.

I just scheduled my scans - now that holds a LOT of emotions!!!! First, scans are just not fun.  Secondly, you can’t help but have the moment of “what if”.  I mean I was never suppose to have cancer when they saw the spots on my lung - so although with all hundreds of you praying - the “what if” haunts you.  I don’t think about it all the time but when I do I just have to plea with God that the cancer is gone.  I’m not sure I could be strong enough - or what I mean to say is “weak enough in HIS STRENGTH” to go for another cycle of chemo or even to hear the word cancer. Here’s my schedule and I would love your prayers…

Nov 17th 12:45 PET scan / Nov 19th 5pm 1/4 CT scan / Nov 21st 4pm 1/4 CT scan / Nov 24th 5pm 1/4 CT scan / Nov 26th 5pm 1/4 CT scan / Dec 5th 8:45 Doctor appointment for results

Well today I got to go to the Veterans parade to Keona march with her band - that was AWESOME! I am such a proud mommy!!!  Keona is an incredible girl and I’m blessed that she is MINE!

I was suppose to teach a class this afternoon but I’m having stomach issues so I’m staying VERY close to my “potty”.  It’s such a catch 22 - you are hungry - you can’t eat because the taste makes everything taste so bad - if you make yourself eat you “loose” it anyway. What does a person do - lol.

Not a lot to report - just wanted to let you know what is happening in Bakersfield. Thank you again for your constant love and prayers.  Your support means SO much - cancer can be a lonely road.

Well not really.  We may not be going to see the Wizard or Oz, but thanks to one of my dear Angel couples, we are off to CAMBRIA this afternoon!!!!  What a HUGE BLESSING!

I am over the scary part - I still have many normal cycle side effects (like I’ll need to take me walker to help me get places etc. - my walking comes back later with each cycle) but with my parents’ help and my kid’s help, we’ll be sleeping by the ocean tonight!

My Aunt Patsy has reminded me throughout this whole fun experience that it doesn’t matter how big the mountain - it matters how big the mountain mover.  GOD IS BIG.  When I am in Cambria and see and hear the ocean tide MY GOD IS BIG.  Now that I have lived in Bakersfield’s wonderful sand land, when I see Cambria’s trees and drink in the fresh air, GOD IS BIG.  When I walk (and this time drive) up and down the Main street and feel the warmth and “slowness” of the quaint town, GOD IS BIG.  When I open my eyes and realize that I hae survived enough to be a few hours from my home, GOD IS BIG.  I always knew I’d make it through this chemo - all 6 cycles - but there were times I was VERY ready to throw in the towel.  This was a harder journey than I would have ever allowed myself to prepare for or allow my mind to imagine.  Just being a way in a different type of environment (no needles, meds, IV lines, big machines etc) reminds me that MY GOD IS BIG!!!!!

Now, you think this is all about me - sure sounds like it - guess I’m SO EXCITED.  The truth is that this December is my parents’ 50th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!  WHAT a HUGE MILESTONE and EXAMPLE they have set for me and my children.  Being a mature adult (ok - trying to be a mature adult) I know that reality is my parents probably had some ups and downs in 50 years.  They have shown how with God’s help, you can stay committed and “in-love” for 50 years.  It’s not something that can’t happen - you just have to have God and the committment.

Since I can’t be in Illinois next month to celebrate the big day - and my funds are lacking due to bills and not working - this is my gift to my parents.  Yes, at first I felt bad that my Angels’ are paying for the gift - but it does come from my heart to want to give them something different this weekend.  They have never been to Cambria so it’s a part of the coast line that will be knew to them.  The kids and are have a couple things up our sleeves (mom reads the blog so can’t say) to have a moment or two just to celebrate my parents.

Miracles come in all sizes and shapes and I have seen that through ALL of my blog readers’ thoughts, prayers, and gifts to me and my family.  This weekend, my gift is going to Cambria!!!!!  As tears come to my eyes typing this, what Cambria means to mean today, IS THIS FAMILY HAS MADE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND NOW WE AWAIT TO TAKE A MOMENT TO BREATH AND REFLECT AND SEE WHERE GOD TAKES US NEXT.  When we come back from Cambria, I’ll have a lot of thinking and listening to do to figure out where God is leading my life (working more to pay more bills - kids - keeping up on scans - not allowing stress to hurt my body etc).  My parents will go back to Illinois and listen to how God wants them to live the next 50 years of marriage together (can’t blame a kid for dreaming - maybe He will take them to CA for winters).

GOD IS BIG - GOD NEVER LEAVES YOU THROUGH THE JOURNEYS - AND THEN GOD CELEBRATES IN CAMBRIA!!!

Thank you ALL for doing your part (ok - you all went far above and beyond your part) to help my family move through that mountain and now “WE’RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD”!

Well, I’m over the scary stuff! WOW, I was scared.  I lost total control of my body - it was distorted - like I had a stroke and could not move anything. My fingers and toes were in a ball and I couldn’t straighten them. My mouth and even eyes were under someone else’s control.  It was just scary.  Praise GOD my parents were here to help me!!!! Now, I just deal with the typical, numbness, weakness, taste,  body over heating etc. etc.

I can type but my arms get weak quick and I can’t think so clearly so just wanted to give you an update.  I will type more later.

Thanks for the prayers!