Well, today I get my scan results!  I am 90% sure that they will come back with results of the cancer disappearing at the rate the doctor is pleased with OR I AM CANCER FREE. I have HUNDREDS of people praying for me and I had a lady of faith touch my lungs when she prayed for healing and I felt God’s warmth enter my body.

At the same time, I have learned in my life that we get curve balls.  That each curve ball God is still in control and walking with us, but He may have other plans that sometimes we don’t understand or like.  That is when our faith is tested - is God our God NO MATTER WHAT?!?!  Well, I can say “Yes” without hesitating.

So, no matter what the results today, I will continue to live out the verse that was my Gram Sam’s favoritie verse (and Gram Sam was my walking rold model of Proverbs 31) ‘THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE, LET US REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT!”  The verse never says to be glad in it ONLY if we get the results we want.  So, I go to my 2nd day / cycle 4 of chemo today - and when I see the doctor this morning sometime, I will walk into his office with hope but I will leave his office rejoicing no matter the results.

I will try or have a family member post the results tonight - thanks for your support and prayers!!!!!!

Love you all, Donna

I thought I would give you an update of life. Today was absolutely FABULOUS!  I felt great.  I was able to teach 2 classes today (which helps with finances), pick up the kids early from school, drive to LAX, and pick up my “birth” daughter Meredith.  She flew in from Houston to be with us this week - or should I say - to “play mom” for us while I am back to hibernating.  SInce her flight came in to LAX around the worse traffic time, we decided to hang out in LA.  We went and found a fun quick Chinese Cafe for dinner and then we walked the pier at Manhattan beach.  It was glorious.

I love the ocean.  It’s funny.  I have no desire to swim in the ocean, learn to surf or board or any of those sports.  I just love watching and listening to the ocean.  It’s vast size amazes me.  I can’t see the end.  It appears like it has no ending.  It also give me the sense of fresh or clean.  The air smells with that special ocean salt smell.  The waves crashing with white foam just makes me feel clean or renewed.  Although we were probably not at the ocean more than a half hour tonight, it gave me a sense of peace, a calmness.

Then comes the true miracle of the ocean for me.  I close my eyes and remember that my heavenly Daddy made that ocean.  He spoke and it was.  That massive body of water that has no end in sight is the work of my God.  That same God is the God that is in control of my cancer - those small cells that have gone a little haywire.  The same God that is in control of my chemo treatments and their results.  The same God that is holding my hand when I don’t feel so good.  The God that created such beauty in the ocean, an ocean that I can’t conceive how big it is - is the God that says my cancer isn’t too big for Him.  WOW, I’m in good hands!

That’s a good thing because tomorrow is Day 1 of Cycle 4 of chemo!  I’ll be having chemo Wed, Thurs and Friday.  On Thursday, I’ll be meeting with the doc to review my PET and CT scans and talk about the furture - if we stay on course or need to make changes.  I don’t fear that - my GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE OCEAN!

Then I go into hibernation.  Meredith will be taking care of the family so I can rest and not worry about my “mom duties”.  Thanks to a Fabulous Mary Kay Director (that I’m so blessed to have in my life) dinners are in the freezer for the weekend. I still have plenty of TP left (thanks to my TP Angel).  I am ready for treatment and the recovery time that lies ahead.  Don’t get me wrong - I am human - I am NOT looking forward to treatment or the week after - but this time to stay positive, I’m going to have pictures of us at the ocean!  Everytime I close my eyes and visualize that ocean, I will feel how BIG my God is and know that He is watching over me!

Dear friends and family, You know that it is always my goal to see the positive, to live with what is given to me, to make the most of things.  Well, this time, I NEED TO VENT!  I am so angry at my insurance company!  How do we allow insurance companies, healthcare insitutions etc. worry more about the bottom line that the people?  I do NOT have an answer - I have heard good and bad about government healthcare.  I have seen good and  bad about private companies.  I do NOT know the answer - but I DO KNOW that an answer needs to be found - and soon!

You ask where this rage is coming from… here’s my story of today.  I went in to the clinic (which I praise God for - you know He is a part of CBCC) for my procrit shot this morning.  I stopped over to see my doctor’s “scheduler” and asked how soon I may get results from my PET scan.  She told me that the doc really wants me to have a complete CT scan too for him to have all the facts to determine my future.  Sounds ok - I don’t like CT scans but I have had plenty.

Well, it seems my insurance now will NOT PAY for a complete CT scan in one day.  You have to divide it up into 4 sections - head/neck, abdominal, etc. etc.  What does this mean for me ….

Instead of this taking 1 day it takes 4 days … instead of having nuclear contrast through out my body 1 day I have it running through me 4 days … instead of having needles stuck into me 1 day I have needles 4 days in a row … instead of it taking 2 hours in 1 day, I will spend 1.5 hours each day for 4 days … instead of the tech setting me up for 1 30 minute scan, they have to set me up 4 days in a row and each scan won’t take more than 3 minutes

THIS IS JUST CRAZY!  It won’t save the insurance company any money.  Now they have to pay for 4 days of those needles, the nurse, the tech, the nuclear contrast stuff etc.  Why do they do this?  I talked to a girl - the “messenager” so I didn’t kill her - who said it was because so many doc and offices would NOT break it up so either the patient does not have the scan or the patient will pay the full amount to have it done in one day.  The “messenger” girl then told me because of this new policy, she gave her 2 week notice. CRAZY!!!!!!

Again, I wish I had the brains to come up with a solution - I do not have one - but someone somewhere must have a way we all can have the medical treatment we need in an easy and efficient way.

Now, let’s try to leave on a positive note.  Lon found ONE POSITIVE… it’s not always easy to hold your ‘potty’ during the full CT scan … since I’m actually only under 2-4 minutes for each of these, there is NO WORRY about an accident.

Thanks for letting me vent!!  Since I won’t have results now to all of these mini CT scans, the doc won’t talk to me to later next week to figure out where we go from here.  I need to continue to leave in God’s peace and not fret about tomorrow.

Love you all! Donna