Isn’t our mind a beautiful thing? It can truly take us anywhere and make us believe we are there. It doesn’t know any different. Last night my mind took me to the most incredible places!!

Around 2AM I woke up with the chills like you wouldn’t believe – no fever – but just shaking. My mind took me to the beach. I walked along the sandy beach and had the small sand grains squish through my toes. The sand was warm and felt so good. The sun was shinning so bright and the rays warmed my back. Just when the warmth got to a point of needing some relieve the tides washed in and the white foam from the waves sprayed my body. The people on the beach were laughing and you could hear the fun in the air. What a wonderful place for my mind to take me.

Around 4AM I woke up having some chest pains and feeling it hard to breath – not in a scary way – but just a way that I wished I could take a gulp of clean air. My mind took me to the Sequoias. I stood next to one of those large redwoods with my neck bent all the way back trying to see the top. The clouds looked like perfect white cotton balls. You could find images in their shapes. The air was crisp and clean. You could take a deep breath and just feel the air circulate the inside of your body. It gave you such a “cleansing” feeling. What a wonderful place for my mind to take me.

Around 6AM when I woke up again, my first thought is how I will regret being up all night. I had a moment of, “I really could do fine without this cancer journey.” I will be honest – having done this before – I know what lies ahead. Each cycle will be harder because of the build up of the chemo. There will be times – even with my strong faith – that I am on my hands and knees and I plead with God to take this away. So this morning, at 6AM, I was far from that point, but I was thinking no shots would be nice so I could sleep all night.

I feel back asleep and my mind took me to the greatest place ever – I went to heaven for a small peek. The first thing I saw was a golden tennis court with a Pepsi fountain – we have had that picture throughout childhood because that would be Dad’s heaven. I was taken to a dinning room that was filled with the most precious china. It was a dessert bar. Gram Sam had prepared choc. Chip cookies, her Tort cake, Mocha cake, Applesauce cake, etc. We sat and ate and ate and didn’t worry about calories for a second. Gram looked so incredible – no worry lines just laughter and peace. Then I went outside and saw the most incredible green open (no fence) meadow. Running towards me was Tasha, Sam, Kya, Roxanne, Pete, Henry, Mr. Bones and all the other pets of loved ones. They were all running and playing. There was no fear of them getting along – they loved each other (and for Kya and Roxanne that would be a huge thing). Then, the brightest light I had ever seen shown directly in my face. It was so bright it blinded me for a second. I heard this deep loving reassuring voice say, “Welcome Donna, I have been waiting for you!” My Heavenly Daddy sat down and extended His knee for me to sit upon. I did and the peace and love just spread through every cell of my body. He looked into my face and told me that there would be no more pain or sickness – no more chemo or radiation – no more tears. I was truly starting to understand and see that heaven is a reality – and that forever is not just a saying. I had gone home for “eternity”. What a wonderful place for my mind to take me.

When I woke up, I wasn’t in heaven. I’m still down here fighting Lung Cancer. I still have 5 more cycles in front of me to face. What my mind did for me is to allow me to have a better feel for “eternity” to put into perspective what 5 months on this earth is – it’s doable! It’s just a second of time compared to eternity. God is here to help me get through this so that His purpose for my life is complete before He takes me HOME. If I stay strong (by leaning on Him and others) I will go to Heaven, sit on my Daddy’s knee and hear “Donna, Job well done!” That’s what I want. So yes, I’m tried, I feel like a truck hit me, I have the “Semi truck” still on its way to run into me in a couple weeks/months, but my mind is ready! I know the truth. God is walking this with me, and when I have completed my tasks, I will live ETERNITY in Heaven, and heaven is a very amazing place. When you need a reality check, allow your mind to take you to Heaven, even for just a few minutes.

Side note: My very profound 10-year-old son came up with this… When people have something really good happen to them they say, “Now, this is life”. So, they have “life” and “after-life”. As a Christian, nothing will be better than Heaven, so Christians do NOT have “life” and “after life”, we have “PRE-LIFE” and “LIFE”!!! Very profound – I’m just living my “pre-life” on this earth – I have my whole “LIFE” to look forward too! Thanks Zavier for your wisdom!!!!

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