I’m am “living” through this chemo Yesterday was my 3rd treatment - one more of the 2 drugs and then the 4 of the one drug to go. They tried slowing down the drip thinking this should help with the nausea - unfortunatley, my bathroom and I spent most of the afternoon and evening together - but you live through it knowing it’s just one day! The great news, by slowing the drip, the “dreaded Metal” taste dosn’t appear as bad this morning. That could be HUGE if I can make myself drink this early in the game. I already had some hot chocolate this morning and it’s still down. So, I’ll take the intimate relationship with my toilet for a night if it means to be able to drink and eat sooner I was the talk of the place with my new beautiful pink blanket - thanks again friend! Today, my body will be persistant that I rest a lot, but all in all, I’m doing great. Hey, how bad can life be when it’s in the 70s and my nap can be outside in the sun LIFE IS GOOD! Thanks for all the prayers and support - I know that is what is helping me “live” through this instead of just “surviving”!!!!

The night before chemo and all through the house …

Tomorrow is treatment number 3 - that’s 3 out of 8! I’ve done laundry in case I’m sick again this time. I had everyone pick up their stuff so the house looks presentable - ok, so I can stay on the couch - you know how things out of place gets to me. I made sure we have plenty of food in the house - not that I’ll be eating much for the next 4 days. I have my new beautiful blanket ready, some reading materials, and a light lunch. I’m all set.

That’s the physical things ready - but what about my mind? I would love to tell you that you just sleep well and go in there in the morning and have a bright smile on your face. It just doesn’t happen that way. I am NOT angry, or bitter, or mad, or upset etc. about me being the one with cancer and having to go through treatment, but, I am human. I don’t look forward to tomorrow.

You can play all kinds of mind games… “I’ll have 3 of the first 4 treatments done - and the last 4 only have 1 drug instead of 2″… “I’ll be almost ½ way done of all the treatments”… “the original chemo patients didn’t have any anti-nausea meds so I have it so easy”, etc. The bottom line - even with a pure heart - I dread tomorrow. It means 3 days of throwing up or my body thinking it needs to every ½ hour. It means 1.5 weeks of the worst metal taste you can ever imagine - so I loose 6-8 pounds because NOTHING tastes good (don’t worry, the last week before the next treatment, I gain that ALL back). It means my brain telling my body to walk only a few feet to do something and my body doesn’t obey. It means that in one week, my white cells will be so low that I’ll get a sore throat, low grade fever, and mild chills. It means that my red cells will be low and I’ll have to have my Procrit shot every Monday morning. It means we’ll be a couple thousand dollars more in debt and closer to losing my house. Whoopee… I get to have chemo tomorrow. After that description, I’m sure you are jealous!

I don’t think that God will ever ask me to “like” having chemo. That would be crazy. So, I don’t beat myself up. I just try to hold on to the positive… if the chemo does its job, I’ll be able to be Lon’s wife not for just 10 years but for 20-30 years. I’ll be able to watch my children grow old! I’ll be able to be God’s servant and try to reach more people on earth before their eternity ends up in the wrong place. So, here’s to tomorrow! Another treatment, that with God’s help I will survive - another treatment closer to becoming a healthier cancer free wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, sister, and friend!

Thanks to all of you that are supporting me in prayers - you help tomorrow be easier! I will survive chemo and its side effects - I will survive cancer - for God has a plan for me! Watch out world - you haven’t seen the last of me!

Does God really listen and answer prayers?

Today, I got an answered prayer - HOW EXCITING is that to know that my heavenly Daddy does hear and still pulls off miracles. Let me tell you all about it! Last night, I was starting to get my “chemo stuff” ready. I pack a bag of stuff to read and munch on - before the metal taste starts. I take a blanket because I can get the chills. Well, last night I was putting out the blanket I have been taking. It was my Grandma’s so it means a lot, however, it’s darker colors and not all that pretty.

I literally prayed last night - “Lord, the lady down the row had a white blanket with flowers and one lady had a pretty yellow blanket. Lord, I would LOVE a fun blanket for my treatments.”

Just a little bit ago, there was a knock on the door. One of my neighbors - bless her heart - brought me a present. Yes, she had MADE a quilt for me! It was made of many pink bandanas (for Breast Cancer). The corners - all four - have a square of white and black checks for Lon the NASCAR fan to symbolize “RACE FOR LIFE”. It is so beautiful!! Words can’t describe how I felt inside when I received this gift of love - an answer to my prayer! Thanks Daddy for listening and answering! Thanks Jeanette for loving me and making this incredible quilt for me!!