Ok… what does chemo and pregnancy have in common…. CRAVINGS! For the last 3 days, I have been hungry. I know what sounds good and then it’s put in front of me. The smell is the worst smell ever. My stomach starts doing flips also feels like there is a brick on the bottom just sitting there. So, I eat a bite - or not - and move on with my day. I’m supposed to try to eat several meals a day so I don’t loose weight.

At dinner tonight - it was Zavier’s time to cook (so of course Mac’n cheese) - the kids were asking why I wasn’t eating. I explained to them that food looks good to mom until it’s right there. Lon started to tell them about my cravings when I was pregnant with them. With Keona, I had to have SPICY MEXICAN and with Zavier, CHEESE PIZZAS!

All that talk about pizza!!! I had to have some. So, my “Knight in Shinning Armor” - aka, MY DEAR SWEET HUBBY - ran to the store, purchase a pizza and brought it home and cooked it for me! The whole time I was praying that I could do more than just look at it - but really maybe eat a piece! PRAISE GOD… GO Donna … Go Donna… I ate 2 pieces!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you Lon for loving me enough to take the risk knowing that after you got it ready I may just look at it and gag! Thank you for loving me enough to put my cravings first! Thank you … for being my soul mate Here’s to leftovers tomorrow!!

1-2-3-4 pieces of hair fell out during my shower today! WOW… usually I loose 10 or more. These 4 pieces though started putting questions into my head. When will my hair fall out? Will it come out in pieces or a big handful? The doctors say that because of one of my drugs, it’s a 99.99% chance I’ll loose my hair - could I be the miracle? Will my eyebrows be as stubborn as I have been told I can be and will they at least hold on?

I see a pattern here - what will the future bring? It started back on Nov 17th. What if this is not “false” alarm #3? What if they want to take my breast? What if the cancer is in my nodes? Will I ever get my movement back in my arm? What’s it going to be like to have a port inside of me - will my body approve of that? What will the chemo be like? How will I react while it’s dripping? How will the next few days go for me? Will the next cycle be much worse?

I have decided - with not needing a whole lot of brainpower - that the lesson God choices to teach cancer patients is this: don’t worry or be anxious about tomorrow! Live in the day!

The night before my first chemo cycle, God told me to read Matthew 6: 25-36. I wanted to obey so I read it. My thoughts, “Yep God, great verses. They say the same thing as the last hundreds of times I have read it!” Ever feel like that? The scripture is supposed to be so powerful but because you have read it over and over it can loose its “punch”.

Then, I remembered that God had my friend Janet give me her Bible - it was different. The comments in her bible seem to touch me deeply. So, I began to read the commentary for these verses. Listen to what it has to say about “tomorrow”.

“Because of the ill effects of worry, Jesus tells not to worry about those needs that God promises to supply. Worry may (1) damage your health (2) cause the object of your worry to consume your thoughts (3) disrupt your productivity (4) negatively affect the way you treat others, and (5) reduce your ability to trust in God. How many ill effects of worry are you experiencing? Here is the difference between worry and genuine concern - worry immobilizes, but concern moves you to ACTION.”

This is not always easy for a planner like me to understand “worry and being prepared”. The commentary helped me with that too! “Planning for tomorrow is time well spent; worrying about tomorrow is time wasted. Careful planning is thinking ahead about goals, steps, and schedule, and trusting in God’s guidance. When done well, planning can help alleviate worry. Worriers, by contrast, are consumed by fear and find it difficult to trust God. Don’t let worry about tomorrow affect your relationship with God today!”

1-2-3-4 pieces of hair fell out today (that I saw). I am NOT going to worry or be anxious - I am prepared. Yes, I have hairpieces, a wig, and some beautiful wonderful hats just waiting for my bald head! I have this covered. However, are there other areas in my life - or your life - that you are a “worrier” and not a “planner”? Ask Jesus to help you with that - He would love to do nothing else!

I forgot to mention the BIGGEST BLESSING so far .. my PET and CT scans came back - there is no other cancer found at this point!! This chemo will kill any cancer that was not detected on those tests and I should be cancer FREE

God is my healer!

Don’t want to make this too short Just thought you would like to know that day one is above and beyond my dreams! I have some nausea but I haven’t needed a bowl yet! I’m tired but no more than every morning when the alarm goes off. I feel truly BLESSED!

I am not living in a fantasy land - I realize the next days could be worse and with each treatment my body will not be able to handle it as well - but GOD tells me to live in the moment and I FEEL GREAT! He will help me in the days and months when I must live for that day.

SO, here’s to another day to live for my Lord - and to enjoy this beautiful SUNSHINE!!!!!!